I know two kinds of outdoorsmen. See if you can pick yourself out.
- If you get up before daylight to hunt a turkey:
Type A will say, ''Let's listen to the birds singing. Can you believe how still the morning is? I can hardly wait to see the sun rise.''
Type B will say, ''I can't believe we have to get up at this hour. The birds won't start gobbling for at least 45 minutes. Why didn't we sleep late? My feet hurt. With all this pollen in the air, I bet I'll get sick.''
- If you see a big bass jump out of the water that breaks the line in midair:
Type A will say, ''Wasn't that a great fish! Did you see that big bass jump? I don't believe I've ever had on a bass that large. Oh, well, since he broke the line, now I won't have to unhook him.''
Type B will call that bass every name he can think of, throw an adult-size temper tantrum by flinging his rod and reel down in the bottom of the boat and then say, ''I can't believe that bass broke my line. That line cost me money. The stupid drag on the reel should have slipped to keep the bass from breaking the line. What sorry gear I have.''
- If you hunt with a friend, have a turkey come into a call and one of you takes and misses the shot:
Type A will say, ''Although I can't believe I missed that bird, he's not the first tom I've missed. And he probably won't be the last. We got a good show out of him when he gobbled and displayed for us for 45 minutes. That turkey beat us. Although he won, we didn't lose. Maybe we'll get to hunt him again next week.''
Type B will say, ''Those are the worse shells I've ever seen. I had that turkey in my sight, but those stupid shells missed the gobbler. Are you sure you didn't move and spook the bird right before I shot? I've never missed a turkey in that close. I'm going to take this gun to the gunsmith as soon as I get home and have him find out what's causing it to miss.''
- If you fished with a partner, had a great day of crappie fishing and both of you have ended the day two crappie shy of your limit:
Type A will say, ''I can't wait to clean these fish. We had a fun day, took plenty of fish and have plenty for a fish fry. I hope we get to go again next week.''
Type B will say, ''If we'd only have stayed longer or gotten here earlier, we could have limited out. These crappie aren't as big as I'd hoped. I told you we should have gone to Buzzard's Roost to catch large crappie and more of them. By the way, do you want to clean these fish, because I don't?''
- If you have planned a fishing or a hunting trip and the time has arrived for your to leave:
Type A will say, ''I can't hardly wait for us to leave. We're going to have a great time.''
Type B will say, ''I bet we'll have lots of rain while we're gone. if the weather gets too bad, I'm going to come home.''
What kind of outdoorsman are you? If you're Type B, then please don't go with me.