This just in: John Riegger will win a major and Phil Mickelson won't. Riegger seems a likely and qualified candidate to win the PGA Championship, the one major of the year that seems to always be won by anybody who can swing a club.
Riegger says he plays golf because it gives him time to duck hunt, a splendid to reason to win a major before Mickelson. Actually, any reason would be sufficient to suggest he would win a major before Mickelson.
After all, it was a former car stereo salesman named Rich Beem who won the 2002 PGA Championship. Beem finished ahead of Tiger Woods, something Mickelson rarely does unless Tiger lets him.
Instead of sharpening his game and playing in the Mercedes Championship, the first tournament of the year, Mickelson was skiing. Move over Marco Sullivan, 'lefty' has a new hobby. Golf has gotten too easy for the best player never to win a major. I've heard a lot lately that this will be the year Mickelson finally wins a major. Why? The moguls on a black diamond have taught him to focus harder. The great mystique about Mickelson is he'll always be the best player to never win a major. Why else would we tune in on Sundays to watch him choke? If he had a chance to win, what would be the fun in watching.
The bottom line is Mickelson has no incentive to get better. He already knows he's the most talented golfer in the world and doesn't need to prove on any one of the four designated weekends. On Wednesdays, I'll take Mickelson on my four-man scramble team. On Sundays, I won't even let him replace my divots.
The guy is aloof. He cares more about the birth of his third child than winning a golf tournament. And who can blame him? Golf isn't everything to him. He has a gorgeous wife, three great kids and a private jet. What else is there in life? To beat Tiger when somebody else wants him to?
We can all sleep better now that the Cooper's Hill Cheese Race in Gloucestershire, England is still scheduled for May 27. Race spokesman Nigel Haimingford said the race was almost canceled because of concerns of terrorist attacks.
"If we cancel the race, the terrorists will have won," Haimingford said.
Here's how the race works. Cheese blocks weighing 25 pounds are tossed down a hill and more than 100 hundred men, usually intoxicated, chase the cheese and whoever gets a hold of the cheese takes it home. The race has been held annually for more than hundred of years and 20 people are seriously injured each year. The only requirement for attending the event is to be drunk on arrival.
Don't normally terrorists want their victims to be able to remember what they did?
If there are any Sacramento Kings fans wishing Jason Williams was still their point guard instead of Mike Bibby, this next statement should finally convince you he's a bonehead.
"I tell people all the time, it might be safer to have a 5 or a 10-point lead as opposed to a 30-point lead," Williams told the Associated Press after his Memphis Grizzlies nearly blew a 31-point lead against New Orleans but hung on to beat the Hornets 106-102.
Jerry West should be proud.
Why is it news when Dennis Rodman either gets arrested or is in court? It happens with such frequency that we should here from him only when he's not in trouble.
Rodman was arrested Friday on assault charges after a woman called police and complained Rodman had assaulted her in Newport Beach, Calif. He's had more than 70 visits by Newport Beach police since retiring from the NBA.
A parting thought. Please, no more about the referees and their blown call in last Sunday's playoff game between the New York Giants and San Francisco 49ers. Yeah, after further review, the Giants should've been able to try another field goal.
Look, New York held a 38-14 second-half lead and still lost 39-38. Even if Matt Bryant was given another chance, the way things were going that afternoon for the Giants, his kick would've hit a seagull and fell short. Next time, don't give up 25 unanswered points.
Jeremy Evans is a Nevada Appeal sports writer.