Local psychologist and national agencies offer tips for parents during war

While many adults may become wrapped up in television images and reports about war with Iraq, children also develop questions and fears about the events, psychologists said Thursday.

Carson City psychologist Dr. Gregory Giron has observed first-hand how children can react to the activities of war and has tips for parents about how to help little ones cope.

During the Gulf War in the early 1990s, Giron worked in a day-care center for more than 400 military children at the U.S. Marine Corps Air Station in El Toro, Calif. The day after Iraqi President Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, the station began mobilizing Marines to the Gulf region.

"It was like a giant bus station," he said. "So here are all these little families and all of a sudden here we are going to war. It was like a shock."

One of the first things Giron said they did was turn off the TV coverage in the child-care center and tried to keep the talk of war to a minimum around children. The staff tried to keep them going on with their normal lives, he said.

"That's something for adults to worry about," he said.

Giron is now a psychologist with clinical training in pediatrics at Carson-Tahoe Hospital's Behavioral Health Outpatient Services. He and many other national organizations are giving the same advice to parents following the start of war Wednesday.

"Everybody is touched in a different way," Giron said.

Child psychiatric organizations are discouraging parents from allowing children to watch continual war coverage or TV coverage that may be violent or upsetting.

"They don't think about things globally," Giron said. "They want to know what is happening with me going to sleep tonight."

Unless they have relatives or people close to them involved in the conflict, children 5 years old and younger are not yet able to comprehend war, Giron said. School-age children may be talking about the war in their classrooms, though.

Children ages 6 to 12 are more into the idea of right and wrong, good and bad, Giron said.

"You don't want to talk to them in detail about war because it's beyond their ability to understand," he said. "Try to find out what the children are worried about."

By asking a child what they are specifically worried about, parents can address the concerns most important to the child and not overload them with details, he said.

Giron suggests possibly getting books at the library about war themes and introducing the subject in that way if the child is curious. He also said children may become worried and anxious about war if their parents are worried and anxious.

Children learn from watching their parents and teachers and are very interested in how they respond to events, according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.

"We like to talk to children in terms of family," he said. He said parents can find ways to help children talk about their concerns. He said for those children who "can't talk about what they're going through, encourage them to draw pictures about their ideas and get it out that way."

Teens and older children may have opinions about the situation, Giron said. He suggests getting them involved in supportive activities, like demonstrations, volunteering or donating blood.

"We want to make them understand that we care and hopefully this is the right thing to do," he said.

Tips for Talking to Children about Terrorism and War

Provide Support

1. Don't let young children watch lots of violent or upsetting images on TV. Repetitive frightening images or scenes can be very disturbing.

2. Help children establish and maintain a predictable routine and schedule.

3. Children who have experienced trauma or losses may show more intense reactions to tragedies or news of war or terrorist incidents.

Listen to Children

1. Create a time and place for children to ask their questions. Don't force children to talk about things until they're ready.

2. Remember children tend to personalize situations.

3. Help children find ways to express themselves. Some children may not be able to talk about their thoughts, feelings or fears. They may be more comfortable drawing pictures, playing with toys or writing stories or poems.

Answer Children's Questions

1. Use words and concepts your child can understand. Don't overload a child with too much information.

2. Give children honest answers and information.

3. Be prepared to repeat explanations or have several conversations.

4. Acknowledge and support your child's thoughts, feelings and reactions.

5. Be consistent and reassuring, but don't make unrealistic promises.

6. Avoid stereotyping groups of people by race, nationality or religion. Use the opportunity to teach tolerance and explain prejudice.

7. Remember children learn from watching their parents and teachers.

Source: Talking to Children about Terrorism and War," by American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.

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