Beverly Hills may need Carson's help

Oh, no. Just when Carson City finds itself in a quandry over whether a Beverly Hillbillies Casino might be too, too gauche comes word the real Beverly Hills is in trouble.

The California city has hired a consultant, Michael Kent, to help turn around the local economy. Among his ideas so far are an advertising campaign, events featuring celebrities and discount deals.

These notions didn't strike me as particularly outlandish. But then I've been known to clip a two-for-one coupon in my day, so I obviously don't understand the kind of clientele they're trying to attract on Rodeo Drive. (No, that's not a place where cowboys chase cows.)

"Owners of the high-end shops concede they need help," writes Stephanie Kang in the Wall Street Journal. "But they sniff at such marketing tactics, which they consider too conventional and declasse for Beverly Hills."

(De-clas-se: adjective. Having fallen or been forced from one's proper or former place in society; having lost class.)

I feel a little sorry for Beverly Hills. Don't you?

Apparently, according to Kang's article, the place has been going downhill ever since the weekly television show "Beverly Hills 90210" went off the air in 2000.

So, if I understand this correctly, owners of these high-society shops are chagrined by the concept of a Beverly Hills advertising campaign. But they had no problem with a 10-year run of a cheesy soap opera that gave the world the impress everyone in Beverly Hills had the character of a peanut-butter cracker.

I think I get the picture.

The Beverly Hills upper crust also isn't amused by the fact their new marketing director has experience selling Nabisco Snackwell cookies and Six Flags amusement parks.

"Snackwell's and Six Flags just doesn't sound like luxury to me," snipped a spokeswoman for one chic women's store.

See. That's why, as F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, the rich are different from you and me. In my part of the world, a cookie and a roller-coaster ride sound like a pretty good time.

Oh, and there's also the fact the new marketing director doesn't actually live in Beverly Hills. This I understand. It's part of the Code of the West. Until you've lived someplace for 30 years, you're a newcomer. After that you may be considered a resident.

In fact, I think that's exactly what Michael Kent is missing in his approach to marketing Beverly Hills.

People are fascinated by such places exactly by the suspicion that they probably shouldn't be allowed anywhere near it.

"I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me," said Groucho Marx, in a kind of reverse logic to Beverly Hills snob appeal. Their attitude should be, "Any club that would have me probably is too good to have any other members."

Thus is born an irresistible tourist draw.

When Kent starts considering a new motto for the city, he might try "Beverly Hills: We don't need you or want you and will have you arrested if you're hanging around."

People will flock to the place. Remember Studio 54? It would have been nothing except for the fact it didn't let people inside. Therefore, hundreds of people stood in line every night for the privilege of not being admitted.

I understand Carson City is also considering some marketing campaigns for downtown stores in an attempt to lure back retail shoppers who have drifted off for Douglas County.

Of course, our campaign is going to be a little different, since we're going after people who have decided to shop at Wal-Mart.

But I think we may be able to parlay a link with Beverly Hills into a real advantage for Carson City.

For example, the Beverly Hills marketing strategies are expected to bring in hundreds of people who clearly don't have the money to shop in the stores there. In fact, they'll be clogging up the aisles.

"People may come in," says a saleswoman at a trendy Rodeo Drive shop, "but if they're in T-shirts, shorts and have cameras, they're not here to shop."

Boy, howdy. Those are the people we're looking for. All we need is a bus waiting outside -- Destination: Carson City 89701.

Barry Smith is editor of the Nevada Appeal.