Morning Briefing

Bonnie Kelso is no athlete, but sports fans may consider her a legend after reading this:

Kelso, during a Big Bear (Calif.) Lake Oktoberfest celebration in 1974, delivered 21 one-liter steins of beer 20 feet to a table - without a tray and without significant spillage.

That's 105 pounds of beer. And it's still an Oktoberfest record.

"It even earned me a trip to Germany," she recalled from the gala last weekend. "They wanted to see if I could really do it."

MOREKELSO

If you'd like to hire this woman for your Super Bowl party, forget it. She's retired but will be present for this year's Oktoberfest finals, Oct. 13 at the Alpine community's convention center.

TRIVIATIME

Who holds the record for most major league baseball games played without a postseason appearance, and what is the number of games?

HUSKYHATER

Tennessee women's basketball Coach Pat Summit announced, without elaborating publicly, that she no longer wishes to schedule games against Connecticut.

But UConn Coach Geno Auriemma has suspicions. "I think she should just come out and say she's not playing us because she hates my guts," he told the Hartford Courant. "Then everyone would be happy."

Summit offered no denial, confessing only that she's "perplexed by his comments."

SEXYANDDORKY

Olympic swimming gold-medalist Amanda Beard, named one of "nine icons who rocked the world" in the October issue of Outside magazine, on being an object of desire:

"That's such a bizarre thing to be thinking about - people on the computer actually looking up pictures of me. I've always felt like this big, frumpy dork, never a sex symbol."

Out of curiosity, Briefing Googled keywords "Big Frumpy Dork" and the top item - no lie - was a story about singer Barry Manilow.

HE'SNOBROWNBACK

Football commentator Beano Cook to the Miami Herald, on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow's emerging as a Heisman Trophy candidate, albeit as a longshot: "He's like the senator from Kansas Sam Brownback running for president at this point."

Thankfully for the Gators, Tebow is not so conservative.

JUSTDESERTS

Syndicated columnist Norman Chad asks what England did to the United States to deserve receiving an NHL game on British soil.

"Oh, that's right," Chad remembers. "They gave us William the Conqueror, the British East India Company, aristocracy, absolute monarchy, taxation without representation, rampant imperialism, bangers and mash, cricket, Prince Charles and Queen.

"Now that I think of it, if it were up to me, we'd send them the WNBA All-Star game."

ANEASYTARGET

Skepticism lingers over the reason given by John Daly, who pulled out of last week's PGA Tour event in Verona, N.Y., citing flu-like symptoms.

Writes Dan Daly of the Washington Times: "This is what happens, some would say, when you play the 19th hole before you play the first."

TRIVIAANSWER

Ernie Banks with 2,528.

ANDFINALLY

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on news that injured Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett will walk again: "It is the biggest miracle of this NFL season, pending the Dolphins making the playoffs."