Thanks, BCS, for being perfect

Dear BCS,

I want to take this moment and thank you for the many years of confusion regarding college football’s postseason. While at times it’s been fun and enjoyable seeing the top “two” teams in the country battle on the biggest stage in January for national supremacy, there are many things I will miss as the NCAA implements a four-team playoff next season.

I will miss that two one-loss teams are hardly perceived as equals. If Alabama loses its only game during October, but Oregon loses late November, the Crimson Tide get the upper hand because the time between the loss and the bowl selection show was greater than when the Ducks lost. Thank you for treating one team as it never lost while the other feels like it has four blemishes on its record.

I will miss how you could schedule a junior college to play in your home opener and no one counts it against you as long as you win by 50 points. But if you lose, then the humans and computers will cast you out and hope never to hear your name.

I will miss that it doesn’t matter if you go undefeated or even lose one, or dare I say, two games. How LSU managed to play for a national title and win it after losing two games is beyond comprehension. But if you’re undefeated and not a member of one of the big conferences, you’re still only the third-best team in the country. Sorry, Boise State.

I will miss computers knowing more than humans. Humans know when teams are having a bad day and give them slack in the rankings or when a ranked opponent loses a tough contest in multiple overtimes. Oklahoma State appreciates it after barely dropping when it was upset days after two women’s basketball coaches were killed in a plane crash three years ago. Humans have feelings unlike these computers who remind us every now and then that Skynet taking over football would be a very bad thing.

I will miss that there is no such thing as a West Coast in the United States. How many times have we seen a team west of Texas compete for a national title in the last 10 years? USC and Oregon have been lucky to crack the system with the Trojans winning one title, although it was forfeited because of Reggie Bush. There’s a reason why the SEC has won more championships than any other conference, not only because of bias but also back to my previous display of gratitude of scheduling schools that shouldn’t field football teams.

I will miss your generosity toward non-BCS schools and allowing them to show the world that they belong in a premier bowl. Thank you for showing that Hawaii really belonged in the Sugar Bowl six years ago and that Colt Brennan would shred the LSU defense. By the way, where is Brennan? Occasionally, though, you let a couple teams in that ruined your plot to expose the phoniness of their perfect records. Utah winning two BCS bowls and Boise State with two Fiesta Bowl wins: where did that come from?

But most importantly, I will miss your demand for attention and power from everyone in the country and the priority of treating teams as equal. You have shown that two losses are better than one, but no losses are better than two. Computers are smarter than humans and if Skynet took over the world, you would plead to start in California because the Golden State doesn’t exist in the BCS.

Thank you, again, for all the wonderful memories that will be cherished in each and every college football fan’s hearts. And thank you for making the BCS such a flawless and perfect system that people are so afraid of its utopian culture they want to change to a playoff.

Sincerely,

A melancholic fan longing for college football perfection.

Thomas Ranson can be contacted at lvnsports@yahoo.com.