Teri Vance: Don’t argue over toothpaste, cherish the moment

Jason Gardner competes in the newspaper toss during the End of Bike Week Party on Friday evening in McFadden Plaza.

Jason Gardner competes in the newspaper toss during the End of Bike Week Party on Friday evening in McFadden Plaza.

I was half asleep when it happened.

My husband, Gary, who sleeps holding a pillow, set said pillow on top of me in the wee hours of the morning.

I snatched that pillow up and smacked it back down on top of him.

We didn’t address it then. He got up to go to work, kissed me goodbye and I went back to sleep.

Over dinner, he brought it up, asking what happened.

“It’s the ultimate dismissal of me as a human being that you would discard things on me,” I said.

“I honestly didn’t even think about it,” he started.

“Exactly,” I interrupted. “You didn’t even consider that I existed.”

“I don’t think it happened,” he backtracked.

Even as we were having the discussion, we knew what was happening. We were arguing over nothing.

Before I got married, I heard about these things. Couples fighting over the way the toothpaste is squeezed or how the dishwasher is loaded.

I remember hearing these seemingly petty disagreements and thinking, you should just be grateful you have someone who loves you. Those things don’t matter.

Gary and I will celebrate two years of marriage in about a week. And here we are, arguing over pillows and the intention behind their placement.

I swore I would never …

Friday marked the four-year anniversary of my dad’s death. It still takes my breath away to think about it.

Sometimes it feels like a dream he’s gone; other times it feels like a dream he was ever here.

But one thing I’ve learned for sure is life really is too short. You don’t get any time back. Every moment counts.

Somehow, though, that lesson gets lost so easily. The monotony and drudgery of the daily life can make us miss the miracles all around us.

The truth is, for every pillow transgression, there are at least 40 perfectly lovely interactions. So lovely I can’t imagine a life without them.


Carson High School graduate Teri Case will return to Carson City on Friday to sign books at Comma Coffee.

The native Nevadan grew up with an alcoholic father, bipolar mother and nine siblings.

She will be signing her debut novel, “Tiger Drive” 6-8 p.m. Friday at Comma Coffee. The book was a finalist for a National Indie Excellence Award.

She also authors the “Vitality Stories” newsletter, “Goal Setting for Assistants,” and has two children’s picture books, one of which, “I’m Going to the Doctor?!” was shared on TODAY by Kathie Lee Gifford as her Favorite Thing.

Although “Tiger Drive” is a work of fiction, it’s named after the street and corresponding mobile home park in Carson City.

She created the Tiger Drive Scholarship for underprivileged students.

The book signing event will include a raffle for autographed books by other authors. The proceeds will go toward next year’s Tiger Drive Scholarship. Appetizers will be provided while they last.

To learn more, go to tericase.com.


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