The Popcorn Stand: Grandpa Walton never does well in March Madness

I should have never watched the Pac-12 Championship game between Arizona and USC. Today is St. Patrick’s Day and again St. Patrick’s Day as always every year means I’m already out of my March Madness Pool.

I picked Arizona to win the whole thing because I watched this Ayton guy practically score every point and grab every rebound in thrashing USC. He looked like John-boy while he made the whole USC team look like a bunch of Grandpa Waltons. (Look it up Millennials).

So figured I had a pretty good shot in my March Madness Pool if I pick this guy who looked like the next coming of Wilt Chamberlain and Arizona to win it all. Then this Ayton guy went out and proceeded to look like Grandpa Walton himself with all the Buffalo John-boys running around him and the Bulls beat Arizona by 21 points. The running of the Bulls it was.

What’s worse my editor Adam Trumble picked Buffalo and in our pool we reward picks for upsets so that was 10 points for Trumble. To add insult to injury, this Ayton guy immediately declares for the NBA draft after all the Buffalo John-boys ran around and made him look like Grandpa Walton.

So that made me think this Ayton guy wasn’t fully focused on the task at hand and instead was thinking about the millions of dollars he was going to make in the NBA. I’ve heard he could actually be the first player overall taken in the draft.

But that’s why March Madness is really the only gambling I do. I think I’ve made like three sports bets in my life and I’ve never bet on college kids. How can you trust college kids who may have just broken up with their girlfriend or haven’t had enough to eat? Or maybe looking too far ahead to the NBA.

It’s St. Patrick’s Day and it’s already time to say goodnight to my March Madness bracket.

Goodnight John-boy.

— Charles Whisnand


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