The Popcorn Stand: Dead man does speak tales

Talk about having a bad day. Or actually year. Or life. Or death depending on how you look at it.

I’ve written several times before one of my favorite television shows is “M*A*S*H” and one of my favorite episodes involved the Army mistakenly declaring Hawkeye dead.

Well in a situation in which life imitates art Constantin Reliu is a dead man walk. The Turkish government deported him back to Romania in January. He returned to find out he died back in 2003.

Even his wife registered the death certificate for him. Reminds me of the movie title “I Love You to Death,” which was actually an hilarious movie.

Actually I need to give the wife more of the benefit of the doubt as she thought Reliu died in an earthquake.

Reliu did admit he cut off communication with his wife after he discovered her infidelity. This really sounds more and more like that move “I Love You to Death,” although in reverse.

So yes the story of Reliu would make a great movie. And you know who I’m going to suggest to play the lead: Nicolas Cage. He’s got that Turkish-Romanian look about him.

In a Yogi Berra-esque quote, Reliu told the Associated Press, “I am officially dead, although I’m alive.”

It’s actually not to funny for Reliu. As Hawkeye found out, Reliu is finding out is pretty hard for a dead man to do things like make a living and have an income.

And it gets better. Or actually worse if you’re Reliu. A court actually rejected his bid to get the death certificate overturned.

Even though he was there standing, the court ruled he had no case to stand on, because he filed his appeal too late. And the court stated its ruling is final.

“I am a living ghost,” Reliu said.

“Living Ghost” starring Nicolas Cage coming to a theater near you. That would be awesome.

— Charles Whisnand