I received my Ancestry.com DNA results last week and I’m sad to report that the results didn’t totally confirm that I’m a native American, just like Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.). Nevertheless, my DNA results do confirm that there were some “New York settlers” and “Northeastern states settlers” among my early ancestors, most of whom were Norwegians or Western Europeans.
So, taking a page from Sen. Warren’s playbook, I’ve decided to claim native American ancestry. After all, she’s only 1/1,000th native American according to her DNA results and I should be able to find a native American somewhere among those “settlers.” Who knows? Perhaps some of them cohabitated with or married native Americans.
My problem is that native Americans were already here when the settlers arrived, but I won’t let that stand in the way of my new and relentless quest for the biological truth. I’m sure you’re dying to know the truth, just like Ms. Warren’s supporters and opponents as she gears up to run for president in 2020. Also, like Ms. Warren, if I feel like a native American, I must be one. After all, feelings matter more than facts.
Unfortunately for the senator, native Americans haven’t exactly welcomed her as a card-carrying member of their tribes. In fact, Cherokee Nation Secretary of State Chuck Hoskin, Jr. said, “Using a DNA test to lay claim to any connection to the Cherokee nation ... is inappropriate and wrong and dishonors legitimate tribal governments and citizens.” Ouch!
Even more painful for Sen. Warren was the fact that a living descendant of Pocahontas, the brave and very intelligent Indian maiden who accompanied Lewis and Clark on their epic journey to the West, accused the senator of betraying native Americans.
“Native Americans feel betrayed (by Sen. Warren),” said Debbie White Dove Porreco. “She needs to apologize to everyone for what she’s done.”
You might know that President Donald Trump delights in calling Sen. Warren “Pocahontas,” but I’m not going there for fear the PC Police will be at my doorstep if I commit such an insensitive transgression. I don’t want any angry, screaming protesters at my front door, if you know what I mean (and I’m sure you do).
Sen. Warren’s questionable claim of native American ancestry is a very visible example of the Democrats’ identity politics playbook. I think we’re diverse Americans of differing heritages, ethnicities, races, genders and sexual preferences in pursuit of the same goals: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Or that’s what I thought before Democrats started dividing us up into balkanized groups and pitting us against one another. When the Census asks for my race and ethnicity, I always write in “American.”
According to identity politics and Ms. Stornetta, however, I should apologize for being a white male who enjoys “white privilege,” whatever that’s supposed to mean. Perhaps it means that I worked my way through college by washing dishes and living in the basement of a sorority house.
The alumni association of my beloved alma mater, the University of Washington, Seattle, has gone so far as to offer us elderly Husky palefaces the opportunity to take a summer course in “white privilege” to learn where we went wrong in life and why we’re responsible for everything bad that happens around the world. I told the nice young woman who called to take me off her contributors list until the university stops promoting this demeaning and offensive kind of “diversity training.” You want a donation? Treat me nice, and go, Huskies!
Well, thanks to Sen. Warren, we’re all native Americans now. See you at the next big pow-wow.
Guy W. Farmer is an elderly American who rejects identity politics.