The Popcorn Stand: Florida Man strikes again

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We’ve all heard about Florida Man — the description of men who do some pretty weird things who just happen to live in Florida. I’ve written here before men in Florida who do weird things just get more attention and pretty much do weird things men anywhere do — including with the danger of getting myself in trouble, here in Nevada. Well a Florida man — who apparently hasn’t heard of the idea of calling in sick or maybe he used up all his sick days — has done it again. Brian Anderson didn’t want to go to work his shift at a Hardee’s Restaurant, so he called 911 and reported he had just been robbed. I guess the idea of calling in to work to tell his boss he had to take care of his sick mother, or his uncle so and so died and he had to go to the funeral didn’t cross his mind either. This does remind me of a hilarious scene from “M*A*S*H in which Klinger comes in to Col. Blake’s office and gives him a supposed letter from home stating his father is dying. Blake proceeds to show his file to Klinger of previous supposed letters of family emergencies including one that states: “half the family dying, half the family pregnant.” Blake then asks Klinger “aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” to which Klinger replies “I don’t deserve to be in the Army.” Anderson could have used some of Klinger’s ingenuity. He told the 911 dispatcher two gun-carrying men took his necklace, money and phone, but sheriff’s deputies at the scene realized a robbery never happened. Anderson eventually confessed. It should be noted, though, he didn’t have to go to his 11 a.m. shift. I’m assuming Anderson won’t be working any shifts for a while as he was charged with misusing the 911 system and knowingly giving false information to law enforcement. So Florida man — who really represents everywhere man — strikes again. — Charles Whisnand

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