Trina Machacek: Betting with chips

I bet you have a favorite potato chip. I bet you would like to gobble one or maybe 20 right now. I would even hasten to bet there is either an open sack or if you are lucky a brand new, never opened bag sitting somewhere in your abode. Be right back—ok I’ve have my chip fix for a while and I can continue.

Of course I will wait for you if want to go grab a handful too. It seems most of us have that urge sometimes to just-have-chips. There must be a science attached to that.

I can just see a group of white-coated perfect cholesterol numbered people in some brightly lit glass enclosed room lined with stainless steel tables and big vats of flavorings and fryers at the ready. They are people who throw caution to the wind when it comes to salt, sugar and all the things we cannot pronounce but happily put in our pie holes. Yes, they are all hunched around the next sack of potatoes to be sacrificed while they are playing flavor, flavor who’s got the next big flavor.

Be it potato, corn, cheesy, flaming, fried, puffed, baked, salty, lightly salted, no salt (why bother!) or buttery there is something in the chip isle we all head for. Is it those tiny packages all packed in packages of 20 or more of six or seven different varieties? Maybe just the regular size bag, which is really just two tiny bags put in one bigger bag. Do you get the family size? Or BaZoweee! The party size?

In the big clubs store I have seen sacks of tortilla chips about the size of a king-sized pillow. Usually those are in a cart sitting next to one of the gallon size cans of nacho cheese and another one of jalapeno peppers. Yep, party at that house for sure.

Last time I was in the chip isle of course I stepped back and just watched because there were several people on the hunt. A couple of mid-30-ish women were talking and walking, one pushing the cart as they moved. Along side of the cart was what I would guess was a teenaged daughter of one of the women. As they approached me the girl reached for a snack size package of something in a red package that I saw had flames pictured on it and tossed it in the cart and then grabbed a bigger redder bag of something with “HOT! HOTTER! HOTTEST!” screaming from the mouth of some tiger looking thing.

Without missing a step they moved in front of me as we all giggled at the teenager. I remarked that the girl knows what she wants and the woman pushing the cart told me she always has. See that’s what I am like. I like plain no frills chips. I know I like them. I enjoy that first big ole chip out of the bag. I like to open the bag, look inside and see the biggest one just laying there waiting for me.

But! Yes a potato shaped “but.” HAHA But if I know that the plain chip is just exactly what I want then why do I fall for and usually can’t resist trying some new flavor? Something that has been concocted by those chip masters who I assume get paid big bucks to get me to try something called Chicken and Waffle flavored chips? Save your money! Or Honey Bar-b-que. Well worth the try.

It’s because I am a sucker. Yes I know I am a sucker and I own up to my sucker lifestyle. I bought the guacamole green chips, the cinnamon brown swirled chips, the peppered chips that looked somewhat fly speckled and even the blue corn chips. I mean come on. I’ve never even seen blue corn on the cob or in the can or in the freezer section but I bought blue corn chips? Sucker or just curious. I suspect both.

I know a guy who has taken chip eating to a level even I didn’t know about. Talking about that first big chip out of a freshly opened bag we went on to talk about finding the ones that are folded over and you get a special double crunch when you stuff one between your lips. I made mention that the folded chip crunch is nearly perfect. We smiled and sighed.

Then he added this little tidbit. He suggested next time I get one of those chips I should cram cream cheese in the fold. Just what my cholesterol meter needs. Don’t bet I won’t try it.

Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Find her on Facebook, Instagram or at itybytrina@yahoo.com