I get very nervous when I have company coming. That’s crazy because I love to have company come to visit. It’s crazier still because I really believe that if company comes to see the dust in my house instead of seeing little ol’ me, that is not the company I want to keep near and dear. It must be a woman thing, this desire to have our homes all spic and span clean when company is coming for a visit.
Yes, yes there is the saying, a place for everything and everything in its place. But! Oh, a shiny clean “but.” It’s the placement of everything that I sometimes have a little trouble with.
I am very comfortable with stuff on my kitchen counters. I am also way too comfortable with a stack of stuff on the table in front of my couch. Not just books, magazines and catalogs. Among the havoc there’s a deck of cards and a pen. Not sure why there is a pen and no paper. Guess my thought process was that if I needed to write something down I would use my hand. I have tried to write on a catalog but you know what? Those silly catalog people use up nearly every inch of a page with stuff they want to sell to me. How rude right?
I took a quick look in my “linen” closet. You know where the towels are. Yes, towels and so much more. Gave thought that maybe my overnight guests might need a shower. Well there are towels in there. Many towels as a matter of fact.
I found that the caliber of towels I am using daily may not be “company ready” towels. So I put the ones I use all the time on the bottom of the pile and that way some of the better class of towels now are on top. Oh if my closet was just that easy.
My closet door is always open. Why spend my oh-so-valuable time, ha-ha, opening the closet door every day or each time I need to grab a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. It doesn’t look all that bad in there. I mean if you like looking into the abyss just waiting to fall in. Never to be seen again. With company coming, the best way to be comfortable with a closet? Close the closet door. Well that was pretty easy. Hey, I’m on a roll.
One of my least favorite jobs is to vacuum. I know it makes a difference when I vacuum, but I don’t see that instant change from dirty to clean that I like to see when I spend time cleaning. I mean it’s not like dusting. With dusting I can see the shine of a table come back to life after I spray on my dusting stuff and wipe it off with one of the old tube socks I use to dust with.
No, vacuuming doesn’t give me a thrill like dusting does. How sad is it that I even admit that dusting is thrilling in any form?
There are places I do not get to when company is coming. Like the two shelves under the microwave that sits on a cart because there is no room left on the counter. I do not get clear to the back of those shelves. I should. I know I should but I just kind of swish my sock across the front of them.
Unless there will be little kids coming. I have been caught not dusting bottom shelves by little kids picking up things off those shelves. That’s a little embarrassing. The little tyke brings something to the mom from the bottom shelf, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s that the stuff on the bottom shelves is always covered with the dust I didn’t dust away because who looks on the bottom shelves? Little kids, that’s who.
I remember when I was a kid and while visiting we were told not to touch ANYTHING. It’s not like that in my home. You come to visit you are more than welcomed to touch and pick up and even look in that “linen” or bedroom closet. You want a good laugh? Just take a gander under my bathroom sink. If it doesn’t look exactly like under your bathroom sink I would be impressed with your cleaning prowess.
So come on over and sit and visit. Judge me by the amount of dust on my window sills and the number of dead flies hiding behind the curtains. I’m good with it all, as long as you realize my house is not a museum. It’s a place where living is happening and all things are never in their assigned places.
Trina Machacek lives in Eureka. Her new book, They Call Me Weener, is available on Amazon.com or email her at email@example.com to find out how to get a signed copy.