Editorial: Cyber St. Nick
‘Twas the day before Christmas as I surfed on the ‘Net,
in the hopes of finding that last minute gift
I was sitting in the glow of my 17-inch screen
trying to get back to one good site that I’d seen.
When all of a sudden, via modem there was
a cyber St. Nick who said just because
I waited til now, he was unable to find
anything I wanted, no matter the dime
I gritted my teeth and changed out of my shorts
I would rather eat nails than go shopping, I snorts.
But the pressure of the season, overwhelmed my outrage
So into the malls I ran in a craze.
But the shelves they were empty,
and the wrapping was sold
Not a fruitcake or sweater to buy, I was told
Then a bit of advice from a kindly store clerk:
“Maybe next year perhaps you’ll start earlier you jerk.”
More rapid than eagles my Subaru sped,
As I raced about town trying to spend my bread
but the clerk, she was right, I had waited too long
No matter the excuse, I knew I was wrong
No presents from me, no gifts for the beau
This was some big trouble not cured by Uh Oh
What is that sound, what is that noise?
It looked like old Santa with the usual boys.
He landed upon my roof with a shout
and dumped a bag of goodies on my snout.
He hopped back into his sleigh and took off like a kite
and yelled “A Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”
– the Appeal staff