Humor from the pulpit, by accident | NevadaAppeal.com

Humor from the pulpit, by accident

by Carolyn DeMarand Maizie Harris Jesse

A visiting minister at a Presbyterian Church (’tis “rumored” it was either Carl Dahlen or Pat Hardy … but that’s only a “rumor”) waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. “Dear Lord,” he began, “without you, we are but dust … ”

He would have continued, but at that moment a very young lady asked quite loudly for the entire congregation to hear, “Mommy, what is butt dust?” Really, Pastor Kochsmeier, do you think letting them preach is wise? (Yes, we know … the devil got to us again.)

n n n

Steve Vandenschnorgenburger (or something like that … he wanted to make sure we spelled his name right … ha) is hoping that the new downtown parking garage will not use the same architect as the post office parking lot … well, duh, Steve … t hose were feds, not our city guys … we have faith … we hope …

n n n

Congratulations to Christi Schmid, wife and mother, and full time teacher at Mark Twain school … she just received her master’s degree in education from Grand Canyon University with a 4.0 average … it doesn’t get any better than that. Is a doctorate next?

Recommended Stories For You

n n n

And congratulations to the WNCC Foundation … they were No. 1 in the state for fund raising, outdoing all the other community colleges and Nevada State College in Henderson, too … keeping WNCC on top … and making Carson City proud …

n n n

Don’t forget danceSpirit Performing Art’s fifth year of the “Nutcracker Ballet – All Jazz’d Up” this weekend … they have reserved seating only at the Community Center … so for tickets and information, call 884-1066; also this weekend, the Fountainhead Foursquare Church will present “Journey to the Manger” (call 267-4488) … it’s free to all; and finally, the Capital Christian Center (883-3355) is presenting “The Christmas Shoes” … it, too, is open to the community … and just in time for the Christmas season …

n n n

Speaking of Christmas … the new Jack-in-the-Box commercials, “Good holiday spirit” … and the “Chrismukkah” cards (from Fox-TV’s “OC”) really rankle us … does the term “gag me with a spoon” seem appropriate? What happened to just saying, “Merry Christmas,” or “Happy Hannukkah,” or “Happy New Year,” or are we not being “politically correct?” Maybe the Supreme Court should get involved … Bah Humbug …

n n n

We have more holiday eating tips for you … “Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up. Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for us. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!”

And, “Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. After all, have some standards.” (unless it’s Bill William’s mother’s recipe).

n n n

We see that the Florida Marlins may move to Las Vegas … if they think about it, they could be the Las Vegas “Merlins” … a mixture of fantasy and magic … and soooo Las Vegasy … we’re just full of great ideas …

n n n

If you need a wonderful charity to donate to this Christmas (or any other time of year) … the Romanian Families Fund, Inc. (c/o Shirley and Doug Bierman, 811 Weninger Drive, Carson City, NV 89703) needs you. The Biermans’ daughter, Sara, and her husband, Christophe, are helping five schools and a senior center in Bercini, Romania … these people have nothing … no aid from their government or from anywhere else, except the people of Carson City … they are very poor, your donation is tax deductible, and they are so very grateful … thank you …

n n n

Frank Taylor is retiring from NDOT this week … there will be a “roast” tomorrow night at the Nugget … with lots of funny jokes. Gee, Frank, does this mean you’re not doing your standup act? (now, we know we’re going to hell … ) All kidding aside … congratulations and all the best …

n n n

Thanks to all Carolyn’s new neighbors in East Lake for caring for and chasing down “Mocha,” her dog … fortunately Mocha is now happily back with her original owners, the Petersen family … and not running away anymore. Carolyn had given her a new name, “Houdini,” because of all her escape antics. She misses her … but she met a lot of nice people because of her … and the Petersens were glad to get her back as well … happy ending!

n n n

This week … drive around and see the Christmas lights … call the Santa hotline (887-2020, ext. 5005) if you want Santa to visit … and don’t forget to drop off a frozen turkey at FISH; Toys for Tots; and money for the Salvation Army bellringers … ’til next week …

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.