I don’t believe it
My high school sweetheart just turned 60 years old this week which means that I’ll be hitting that milestone very soon myself.
I know it’s true but it’s really hard to believe. I realize that time stops for no man and aging is inevitable but, honestly, I never really believed the day would come when a 60-year-old could honestly say she dated me! Who would have thunk it?
More and more I’m noticing things that I can’t believe are becoming reality. I don’t know if that’s a sign that I’ve always been a little slow and naïve or that the world is becoming a crazier place. I’m choosing to believe that it’s the crazy world thing but I know where you could find a 60 year old lady who might argue the it’s the other thing. Either way I find myself struggling to believe a lot of things these days.
For instance, I never would have believed that I would be asked to show my papers when boarding a flight from Reno to Oakland. First of all, who would ever have believed that I would pay to go to Oakland, but more importantly it never occurred to me that a group of Americans would simply comply when asked by federal officers to show their papers. This was at the gate after we’d all filed through their ridiculous checkpoints like sheep, they just showed up and announced that they were going to do a 100% ID check and random bad check before we could board the plane. What fresh Hell is this?
I don’t find it hard to believe that the TSA would become even more intrusive in our lives to justify their phony baloney jobs, but it’s hard for me to believe how passively we’ve accepted it. Until about 15 years ago the only time I had to show my ID was to cash a check or maybe for the occasional paternity test and the only time I ever saw the authorities demanding to see somebody’s papers was on an old World War II or Cold War movie. It’s hard to believe Americans accept this nonsense, but it’s true.
I would never have believed that I would watch a TV show that was just a panel of people talking about another TV show, but I confess that I’m a regular viewer of “Talking Dead.” It’s true, I haven’t watched Meet the press or 60 Minutes in years, but I rarely miss an episode of Talking Dead. I’d like to say I watch it because I’m too lazy to change the channel after watching the Walking Dead but I own a remote control … I could change the channel but I don’t. I choose to watching other geeks talk about my favorite zombie show, it’s hard to believe that an otherwise cool and sophisticated individual like myself would watch such drivel….but I do.
It’s hard to believe that a politician named Weiner would get busted for repeatedly sending people pictures of him … never mind … that one’s not so hard to believe.
It’s hard to believe that in the span of 15 years Donald Trump could shave Vince McMahon’s head on pay-per-view, open a university, marry a smoking hot young Eastern European lady (no, not that one, another one), get inducted to the WWE Hall of Fame, close a university then become the 45th President of the United States…but it happened! It’s an amazing story of a rich kid succeeding against all odds, only in America folks…what a country!
Is it just me or is it hard to believe that dabbing is a thing? Why hasn’t that gone away yet? Stop it…really stop doing that!
I don’t want to believe that more people can identify a picture of a Kardashian than can identify the current or former Vice President. I don’t know why it’s hard for me to believe that people seem care more about people who have never accomplished anything than they do about people who never will accomplish anything, but it is.
You’d think that after all of these years it would be easier for me to believe these things, you’d think so, but not so much. If I had a nickel for every time I said, “That’s hard to believe” I’d have a whole bunch of nickels. I may be a little slow or maybe a bit naïve but I totally believe the world is getting crazier all the time. That’s not hard to believe at all.
Rick Seley is under the weather so we bring you a classic column. Rick is an award-winning humor columnist. He may be reached at email@example.com.