Is This You? Forevermore
Here we go again. Falling into fall. There are two ways to go here. Upbeat and ready for cooler weather, county fairs, hunting, fall colors, Indian summer. Or down beat, sad to see summer waning, shorter days, looming winter, and back to school. Tell me truthfully — can you somewhere in the recesses of your mind, can you remember the feeling that came over you toward the end of August when you realized school was about to begin?
Of course there’s that bit of happiness of getting new school clothes. The excitement of seeing friends who went off on their own summer journeys. Getting that new locker and schedule of classes, seeing the teachers oh and those lunch room dramas. But before all those things there’s that “Ugh” of the next 180 days of school — not counting weekends and holidays. It seems like it will be forevermore until next summer!
But now, as an adult, a grown up person, a non-kid, I find myself thinking of the end of summer in terms of-another August bites the dust. Somehow though, I seem to have gotten out of kilter this August. I have looked at the calendar more often than I usually do and for some reason I haven’t kept the week right let alone the day. Why are there months like that?
Knowing it’s the 14th and not the 21st has become a chore. It felt like it was the 11th but it was only the 4th. Twice I have found myself in the kitchen looking at a list of things going on in our home and getting this gut tightening feeling I’ve missed a deadline. I forgot to order medicine or how did the milk get out of date so fast. It has been a screwy month for sure.
I wondered if I was in some sort of time continuum and what did I have to do to get out of it! So I stood in the kitchen, in front of the calendar on my fridge and held in place with a magnet bought on a past summer vacation, and I did the only thing I could think of doing, I did a reset. I shook my head side to side really fast making that blub, blub, blub noise with my cheeks. I slapped myself up along the side of my head and said, “Knock it off” to no one except myself because thankfully I was the only one around. Kind of shaking off the gremlins and realigning my juju. Ya that’ll do it.
Going about things was pretty good for a day or two. I got a doctor appointment right. I knew a package was coming and I got it without leaving in outside for an extra week. I used the last of the milk, before it went all chunky, to make a pie. Then…
Happily going tra-la-ing along my other half asked if it was time to mow the lawn. What? Didn’t we just mow it a few days ago? Nope. Again I slipped off the calendar. It was like eight days since we mowed. I say we because it’s a two-person job. Either I mow and he trims or he mows and I trim. It’s “our” yard so “we” keep it up. But seriously, we just did all that. Where in the world did the time go? That feeling of time slipping, fleeting, and being perishable all of a sudden becomes all too real.
And that’s the feeling I remember getting at the end of summer when the first day of school loomed ahead. To close to dismiss but too far away to accept. This month, this August, this mismatched time of freedom and being put back into that structured atmosphere of school. August, tapping out SOS — Save Our Summer — on imaginary telegraph lines strung from home to the pool or the park or the drive-in or the mall or anywhere kids spend time during summer vacation.
It’s not just kids who get that feeling to come over them in August is it? No, we all feel it. I think we should call it, “That August Feeling.” It comes every year. August has a way of covering you with, “That August Feeling.” That numbness when you realize it will be forevermore until summer comes back around. But take heart my friends there’s a cure.
Just stand in the middle of the room, shake your head back and forth letting your cheeks flutter making that blub, blub, blub noise, smack yourself up alongside your head and do a reset. It’s not the end of summer yet. Not until Sept. 21! You’ve got a whole month to go. Revel in it. There’s ice cream to eat, water fights to have, still time to get one more light sunburn from a late summer camp out! Enjoy every summery minute.
Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Share with her at firstname.lastname@example.org Really!