Trina Machacek: Swimming with gum
I just watched a show where a teacher standing in front of a small group of high school girls was trying to get the attention of this one girl who was of course on her phone and she was chewing gum.
It wasn’t the phone so much that was the point of this scene, it was the gum. The cud-like chewing of the gum. A close up of her mouth showed overly painted lips with sparkling gum spittle on them. She chomped, slathered and gurgled at her gum. Actually it was pretty disgusting. I still don’t know how this girl was making those loud, wet, slurping, and snapping noises. The gum was such a pointed part that in the credits the girl was listed as, “Gum chewing Teenage Girl.” Now that’s when you know you’ve made your mark. Way to go gum! Brava.
I just can’t leave it there. I was going to leave it there until I heard myself chewing gum as I was washing my dishes that night. I hope I am a polite gum chewer but I know I do this backward bubble thing that even bothers me sometimes. It has a tendency to get pretty loud. Take note that I said that “it” meaning the gum gets pretty loud. I of course, like I am sure you are, am just this side of perfect. So perfect I would never be as obnoxious and wet and wild as the “gum chewing girl.” OK I’m pretty sure I have discussed this before so let me say today isn’t really about that, it’s about the flavor of gum we choose.
I wonder if I am really a rut living type of person. Do I get in a comfy rut and stay there, safe and secure? No way. If you believe that about me I have an airplane with one solid wing and a lovely single prop propeller I will let go, cheap. In some aspects of life a rut is OK. The best thing about a rut is eventually you can climb out to see the sun again. Like the variety of gum flavors. No exaggeration, there must be near a hundred flavors of gum to choose from. Recently I took the last piece of gum out of a pack I keep on my dining room table next to my laptop so I can chomp as I write and laugh. But this pack has been around a while. I bought one of those ten pack packs at a box store. I thought it was what I usually buy but it wasn’t and I have been trying to chew my way to the last piece for quite some time. I finally smacked at the last piece. It wasn’t bad tasting, just not a good chew. You know? Not a good bounce back effect. Anyway now I get to go get new gum. Doesn’t really take a lot to get me excited it seems.
I knew just what I wanted. A good friend gave me a piece of his gum once and it was yummy. Soft, flavorful, bouncy and best of all it was blue! So off I went to get just the right selection. I found this out as I was standing in the convenience store—oh wait, just as a side, buy your gum at a convenience store. They have a great selection and huge turn-overs so they have the freshest gum. Not so much with the bananas in the basket up front. But the gum is a good bet. Got stuck there for a minute. Get it Gum/stuck. Moving on.
I found as I stood there searching I thought my flavor choice was the do all end all flavor. Oh no. Mine is but a spit in the ocean of flavors of gum. Oh and that a stick of gum that was a tiny ten calories can grow up to like forty per chew. Ah, remember the days of buying the pure sugary juicy yellowed packaged gum, or the gum in the striped package. And bubble gum. Little pink squares of heaven. I have a friend who gave me bubble gum. I enjoyed it. Chewed until my mouth was exhausted. Now I just like my flavor of gum.
So I spotted what I was looking for and happily giggled as I got to the counter. The girl smiled and I opened the package and offered her a piece.
She opened her mouth and showed me she already had this HUGE wad of scum green gum swimming in a pool of gum-induced wet. See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Happy chewing.