Turkey Day haiku, with no stuffing | NevadaAppeal.com

Turkey Day haiku, with no stuffing

by Carolyn DeMarand Maizie Harris Jesse

Happy “almost” Thanksgiving Day to you all … so we’ll start off with some superb “Turkey Day haiku” …

Chop, pluck, clean, stuff, roast …

The turkey smells divine … CHOMP …

Pass the gravy, please …

(and you thought they’d have a hard time finding a new Nevada poet laureate … ha!)

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And for the day after Thanksgiving … here’s an easy recipe for turkey soup … put a great, big pot on the stove … throw in all the leftover turkey bones, meat and a bay leaf … almost fill the pot to the top with water and start it boiling, then turn down to a simmer for a couple of hours … chop up a big onion, three or four big carrots, same amount of celery (leaves and all) and 1 cup of barley … simmer for about an hour more.

Drain the broth into another pot, and let the veggies, turkey and bones cool down a little. Take out the bones and dump the broth back into the veggie/turkey mix (warn people that you may have missed a bone or two … that way, if they choke, too bad … you warned them) … season with salt and pepper to taste. This can be frozen, too, for later meals, and is delish … enjoy!

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And Thanksgiving cannot go without the old joke about the man who bought a parrot who did nothing but cuss and swear. As much as he tried to change him, the parrot could still outcuss a longshoreman. Finally, in desperation, the man tossed the bird into the freezer. For a minute he heard, “#@&*#!, #@&*#!,” then, deathly quiet … fearing he’d hurt the parrot, he quickly opened the door.

Out stepped the parrot, who calmly remarked, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m seriously remorseful and fully intend to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.” The man was stunned at the change in the parrot, but, before he could say anything, the parrot continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

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Now for some good news … thanks to Stephanie Arrigotti for organizing local fund raising for Alicia Karau, the young lady who lost her leg to cancer this summer. At performances of “Carousel,” theater goers contributed to the “Alicia’s New Leg Medical Fund” (you can still donate to account No. 004969503165 at any Bank of America branch) … and Proscenium Players, Inc. were able to collect almost $500 from their closing weekend (that’s when they learned about it) … so Alicia will have a good start on her new prosthesis, and, hopefully, we will see her dancing again soon …

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And from good news to good stuff … Red’s Old 395 Grill is donating 10 percent of your total bill to charities this month; and on Sunday and Monday, they will donate 20 percent of your bill … so go down, eat well, and know that part of your bill will help a lot of other people … nicely done; then go to “The Nutcracker,” Friday through Sunday at the Community Center … it’s Pinkerton Dance Academy’s annual gift to the community (882-6748 for information); and lastly, there are tryouts Monday for the Carson City Recreation Department’s annual talent show on Dec. 3 … call Joyce at 782-2105 to find out when and where …

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Hearty congratulations to Sen. Harry Reid for becoming the new Democratic leader in the Senate … and to Stacey Giomi for becoming our new fire chief (whoooda thunk? He’s an old friend … we knew he could do it) …

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Carolyn wants to know what’s with the bar codes on our bills (or practically anything else that comes in the mail) these days? Just another way of tracking us down? Who’s paranoid?

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By the way, when someone dropped off turkeys at the Turkey Drop the other day … no one said, “Thank you,” so the dropper-offer asked, “Is anyone going to say thank you?” Which, of course, then, they did … wethinks (that’s a new word) that should be a given … maybe next year …

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Here’s a look into our future (with apologies and thanks to Jessi Winchester, who sent us the joke) … “Two elderly women (C and M) were out driving and could hardly see over the dashboard of the car … Carolyn noticed that they had run through three red lights and thought, “Am I losing it?” “Maizie, do you know that we just ran through three red lights? You could have killed us both.”

Maizie turned to her and replied, “Oh, crap, am I driving?”

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving …

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.