We’re 2 years old, and still acting our age
October 3, 2005
We’re 2 years old, as columnists go … and still having fun, mostly at our own expense. We notice we didn’t win “best columnists” in the Nevada Appeal’s “Best of Everything” section … however, that may be because “thar weren’t no category fer that.”
Maizie did enter us in “Best Antiques,” but we were snubbed in that category, also … man, we can’t even win one …
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One of our favorite dentists came up with this observation … “Seems South Korea has cloned a dog. When asked how it turned out, they answered, “Fine … tastes just like any other dog.” (“Dog”gone it, he wouldn’t let us use his name … )
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And one of our favorite doctors told us this one … “An old man went into a biker hangout and stumbled up to the bar. He looked at the bartender and said, “Gimme a straight shot … on second thought, make it a double.” He gulped it down, got off his stool and looked for the biggest, meanest biker with the most tattoos he could find.
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The old man weaved his way over to the guy, poked him in the stomach, and said, “I wuz just over at your house ‘n I peeked in the window and saw your grandma comin’ out of the shower naked.”
The biker growled at him and started to get off his stool when the old man poked him again and said, “I also found the back door open and went inside and got it on with her.” With that, the biker grabbed the old man carried him outside and said, “Get on my bike, grandpa, you’re drunk and grandma called and said to bring you home.”
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Ada Roelke wrote to tell us that the story about the man in Houston was a hoax per TruthorFiction.com. Sure enough, we looked it up and she was absolutely right. Seems it was a made-up story that circulated through the Internet and was purported to be from a real doctor; however, the doctor denies all knowledge of it and said he never was in Houston. We got the story verbally from someone local who said it came from a relative and we didn’t question it. Actually, it’s good to hear it wasn’t true …
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Carol Pitts agreed with us that she, too, played with mercury as a kid … now she’s reached the ripe old age of (gee, once again the computer smudged the number), and doesn’t seem to be any the worse for wear. Good for her … (the fact that she glows is no cause for alarm … )
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We’re among the ones sorry to see JJ’s Ear Candy and Video Madness close. Pat Conroy’s store was always a place to get CDs for the kids … and they were always there to help customers if they needed it. Good luck in any future endeavors …
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We went to see Western Nevada Community College’s “Crazy for You,” on Sunday at the matinee. Not only was it a fun, toe-tapping show with George Gershwin’s excellent music (the orchestra sounded great), we were also privy to a “reunion” show after the curtain call with many former stars reprising their roles with brief medleys from previous shows that WNCC has produced over the last 15 years … a real treat … with Pat Hardy portraying Fagin (“Oliver Twist”), Lynne Heller as Nellie Forbush (“South Pacific”), and Leony Berg as Billy Bigelow (“Carousel”), to name a few.
Stephanie Arrigotti, Bob Grant and Gina Kaskie Davis have reason to be proud. Also, don’t forget that “Fiddler on the Roof,” opens Nov. 5, at the Community Center … it, too, will be great to watch (445-4249 for information) …
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And speaking of “CFY” … Maizie laughed out loud, all by herself, at the “Fodor” joke in the musical, when everyone else was silent (she does that sometimes) when the two British people got off the train in Dead Rock, “Nevahda,” they introduced themselves as Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Fodor … that set her off … you see the (real) Fodor’s write tour and travel books telling people all over the world where to go and stay … sooooo, Dead Rock??? She thought it was hysterical … oh well, maybe you had to be there …
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Proscenium Players Inc., also had a great run with “The Foreigner.” They donated all the proceeds from their mid-Saturday performance to Caroline J. Punches, executive director of the American Red Cross, for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Their next show, “The Curious Savage,” will also open on Nov. 5 (883-1976) … get your reservations soon, since “The Foreigner” sold out early and many people had to be turned away …
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Eloise Koenig sent us some cute jokes … “An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
“Wal-Mart?” the preacher exclaimed. “Why Wal-Mart?”
“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”
And one we like, “Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.” Ice cream, anyone?
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Remember the cookie recipe we printed a couple of weeks back? Well, we heard of a young man who was behind on his homework, but who bargained with his teacher that if he brought those cookies to school, he wouldn’t get docked a grade. He did, he didn’t, and life is good … (the cookies were delicious) … PS: he’s keeping up on his homework now …
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Carolyn had to take her mother, “Ma” Tate, to the emergency room at Carson-Tahoe Hospital the other day (she’s OK now, by the way). Even though they were busy, busy, busy, they responded immediately when “Ma” punched the nurse’s button by mistake, and were very nice about it.
Carolyn also said they had a very nice doctor looking at her mother … he said his name, but she forgot it, and could only think of “Doogie Howser,” since he looked so cute and young.
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A rhetorical question … could “someone,” who had a birthday last week, be getting a little “older?” Just wondering … (if Maizie’s not around next week, you’ll know why … )
n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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