Why can’t we get in on this recall mess? | NevadaAppeal.com
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Why can’t we get in on this recall mess?

Column by Kirk Caraway

Everyone likes a good show. Be it a Shakespeare play or a train wreck, we can’t help but watch.

And here, safely tucked away in the Silver State, we have front-row seats to the craziest political show to come around since those crazy days in Florida during the presidential campaign of 2000.

If there were ever a better reason to take a good look at the old laws on the books to determine which you really need to throw out, this is it. The California recall law dates back to 1911, when organizing enough voters to sign a petition was rather hard, without television or Internet. Now all it takes is one disgruntled wealthy congressman with dreams of becoming governor, and we have ourselves a freak show.

At last count, it looks like 135 people will be on the recall ballot, 130 of them certifiable kooks. I heard one comment that there are more strippers running for governor than lawyers, which would definitely be a first. But then, that may not be so bad.

Who knows what is going to happen in the next two months. Californians could end up with a governor who takes office with less than 30 percent of the vote, which will probably spark another recall, and the show begins all over again.

The recall law in Nevada is more stringent. It would take some really drastic act by the governor to create the conditions for a recall, like raising taxes 30 percent. Ah, better make that 60 percent.

But as a state that likes to put on a good show, perhaps we’re missing out on something. If Nevada were the top item on the news every night, perhaps it could fill a few more hotel rooms in Las Vegas, and bring in enough money to give us an education system better than, say, Mississippi.

But to have the same kind of show as California, we would have to come up with our own set of strange characters to run for office.

We don’t have any stars quite as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger, but we do have Wayne Newton. If we can’t terminate our governor, we can have Mr. Las Vegas sing “Danke Schoen” until he leaves the state screaming.

Instead of porn purveyor Larry Flynt, we have brothel owner Dennis Hof. After all, Flynt only sells pictures of naked women. Hof actually sells naked women.

As for sitcom stars, Max Baer of Beverly Hillbillies fame is a far better choice than Gary Coleman.

And strippers? If Nevada can’t outstrip our neighbors to the east, then Las Vegas should just hand over the title of Sin City.

Certainly we have our share of kooks to fill out the rest of the ballot. Take a tour of some of Nevada’s desert outposts like Pahrump or Battle Mountain and you can come up with a cast of characters unbeatable even by the nutcases in California.

Yes, if things get a little boring around the Silver State, maybe we should try recalling the governor, just for fun.

Kirk Caraway, a Carson City resident, is editor of the North Lake Tahoe Bonanza in Incline Village.