Annual "Don Q" Awards for all those who earned them | NevadaAppeal.com

Annual "Don Q" Awards for all those who earned them

Don Quilici, Outdoors Editor

In keeping with a tradition of many years, here are this year’s “prestigeous” winners of the Don Q awards:

— Most Detested Person: A runaway winner for the second year in a row. It’s whoever times the traffic light sequences for the side streets on Carson Street.

I’ve never seen red lights last that long anywhere else in the world.

No wonder Carson City has traffic congestion and traffic jams.

He/she must get paid by the number of vehicles (including mine) backed up at those miserable lights.

— Geez, You Did It Again: Nevada Department of Transportation (NDOT) for, once again, transforming U.S. 395 on the south end of Carson City into a gigantic parking lot this summer. They did it with a re-paving project, apparently without regard to the impact on the traveling public.

The result was a massive stoppage of all southbound traffic. That’s twice in two years. Hellooooooooooo!

— Bypass Bridges To Nowhere: Who else but NDOT! I have a deep suspicion if NDOT had been scheduling the WWII D-Day Invasion, we would all be speaking German.

— Worst Baggage Handling In The Entire World: Hands down to Denver International Airport (DIA).

It took almost as long to get our baggage (1.5 hours) as it did to fly there from Phoenix (2 hours).

I used to think that Reno baggage handling was God awful slow but it doesn’t even begin to compare to DIA.

— Favorite Manhattan Cocktail: Thurman’s Ranch House on Highway 50 East in Carson City…once again.

They make a great tasting, double Manhattan called “The Quilici Manhattan,” named after yours truly.

And, no, before you ask, I don’t get them free. I pay the very same amount as you do…darn!

— Best Outdoor Website Site: It’s http://www.modernsportsman.com.

By a coincidence, “Little Donnie Q” serves as the Moderator for the Western States Forum at that website.

Be sure to take the time to visit that sportsman’s and sports women’s website. It’s a free, friendly, fun website for the entire family.

— Best Wild Game Cook: My lovely wife, Elaine, for her gourmet:

Barbecued Alaskan King Salmon, marinated in Teriyaki.

Alaskan Halibut sauteed in olive oil, after being dipped in a mixture of crushed Ritz crackers, Parmesan cheese and buttermilk.

Rocky Mountain goat Stroganoff.

“Billie” chili.

Cioppino with Yellow Eye, Shrimp, Crab, Mussels and white wine.

— Pssst…Don’t Play The Lotto: Ed Young of Carson City for being unsuccessful in applying for 11 different, Nevada, big game hunting tags in 2002. Wow! Zero for 11.

That could be some kind of record.

— Please Be My New Lotto Partner: Ron Saunders of Carson City for his unbelievable luck in receiving not one, not two, but THREE Nevada big game tags in the same 2002 drawings: Desert Bighorn Sheep, Mule Deer and Rocky Mountain Elk. I need Ron to be my new Lotto partner.

— Worst Deal Of The Year: That miserable motorhome rented for the Nevada 10-In-10 Challenge in August. A classic example that the cheapest deal is not necessarily the best.

It’s woes ranged all the way from a shredded tire, broken air conditioner, terrible shimmy to the door falling off the refrigerator, twice! It was so bad that I would not GIVE this motorhome to my worst enemy!

— Worst Vandalism: The male and female Quail who had a ball feasting on the 324 Petunias, Daisys and Marigolds that we planted in our flower beds in the Spring.

They were eating our flowers almost as fast as we could stick them in the ground. Some areas of our flower beds looked like tiny telephone poles without the wires!

— All-Time Worst Deer Hunting Guide: Norm Budden of Carson City for conning me into going deer hunting with him in his favorite hunting area. Shucks, there are more deer in downtown Carson City than there!

And, worse yet, I had to buy all the food, drinks and pay for the gas in his miserable truck and ATV!

— Best Imitation Of A Porcupine: The 10 fishermen we spotted on a small pontoon boat at Convict Lake on May 18. That boat looked like a Porcupine with all of the fishing poles sticking out of it.

They caught one fish.

Geez, it would have been fun to watch if they could have had 4-5 fish on, all at the same time.

— Worst Imitation Of A Submarine: Jack Cook of Carson City for tying his brand new fishing boat to the dock at Eagle Lake, Calif., where it sank as a result of a high wind.

— Best Fisher Person: A repeat winner from last year: Elaine.

You can’t believe how many times, this year, I have had to pay off our bets on “the first fish,” “the biggest fish” and “the most fish.”

How can one person be so lucky? It has to be luck or she’s cheating.

Hmmm….Come to think of it, she must be cheating!

— Must Be A Physic: Doug Busey of Douglas County, who fished at many different locations this year.

Doug hooked into a number of fish that he stated were very big and then, somehow, he magically proceeded to lose each and every one.

Doug said that he could tell the weight of the fish (up to 8 pounds!) by the way it was fighting, although he never landed one of them.

Hmmm, how does he know that?

— Most Courageous Person: Little Donnie Q for taking my mother-in-law, Mary, on our 18-day honeymoon to Southeast Asia in April.

Heck, just to prove that I deserve this award, how many of you took your mother-in-law on your honeymoon? Darn few, if any!

And, best of all, Mary even learned how to make, drink and enjoy Double Manhattans. Yahoo!

— Who Needs A Fishing Pole: Barbara Van Hise of Carson City for bringing back three cutthroat trout from Lower Kinney Lake.

She rowed my raft around an adjacent point, conned a shore fisherman into giving her the three fish and then triumphantly returned, with a big grin, to where her husband and I were getting skunked. That hurt!

— Skiing Backwards Is Easy: Elaine for her spectacular descent down a slope, without falling, while trying to learn how to cross country ski. Most impressively, she did it BACKWARDS, not once but twice!

As her skiing instructor, I was dumbfounded. Heck, I’ve never done that, even once!

— The Giant Tomatoes: Chuck Van Hise, our former neighbor, who gave us some chemical “stuff” guaranteed to grow giant tomatoes.

We put it on all of our beautiful, healthy plants and then watched in horror as they slowly shriveled up and died. Shortly afterwards, he quietly moved out of the neighborhood.

Hmmm, I wonder why?

— Thanks For The Weekly Info:

All of my contacts who provided detailed, weekly fishing reports for each of their areas.

All the way from Shasta County in Northern California to Crowley Lake in the Bishop area to Wildhorse Reservoir in Northern Nevada.

They made my fishing reports easy to provide on a weekly basis.

— You Are The Greatest: All the readers of the weekly “Outdoor Page.”

— Special Thanks: All of the good folks at the Nevada Appeal, who help bring the “Outdoor Page” to you each and every week.

— Very Special High Five: Cathleen Allison, Rhonda Costa-Landers and Rick Gunn at the Nevada Appeal for all their invaluable help and advice. You three are the best!

— Happy New Year!