Twins care for family, graduate in tandem

High school graduation is often the symbolic entrance into the "real world." But twins Josh and Ryan Chandler have been living there for some time.

"Been there, done that - know what that's all about," said Ryan, 18, who has been his family's breadwinner for the last couple of years.

The brothers were taken by surprise when their parents divorced four years ago. Entering their freshman year, they said, they felt disoriented and their grades suffered.

Their mother, Debra Darr, who had stayed home to raise them, ventured back into the work force for the first time in 13 years. But with the sluggish economy, jobs were hard to come by.

She got steady work as a nanny for about a year, but was later laid off.

To help support the family, Ryan worked while also attending Carson High School. This past year, he has worked about 20 hours a week bussing tables at Red's Old 395 Bar and Grill during the year, working full-time during the break.

"It's been stressful through the years," he said.

Josh took over the role of caring for their younger sister, Jessica, 11, while Debra worked or searched for jobs.

"I didn't actually bring in the money, but I've felt the stress, too," he said.

Both boys helped Jessica with her homework and ran errands for their mother.

"We all pulled together as a team," Debra said. "When I couldn't, they did. They are just awesome. They became men overnight."

There were times, both brothers said, when they felt it was futile and considered dropping out. But they fought through the discouragement.

One of the last times they saw or spoke to their father more than three years ago was in court during a custody hearing. They remember him telling the judge that if they stayed with their mother they would never graduate high school.

"We wanted to prove him wrong," Josh said. "We wanted to show him our mom was a good mom."

Then Josh fell ill.

Halfway through his senior year, he came down with the swine flu that progressed to pneumonia and mononucleosis.

"I was so scared," Debra said. "We almost lost him."

He missed so much school because of it, he fell too far behind to catch up before the year was up. Summer school was an option, but Josh wanted to graduate at the same time as his brother and other friends.

So he enrolled at the online charter high school, Silver State, and made up his classes in time to receive his diploma on Thursday with the class of 2010.

Ryan will march with his Carson High School classmates in the graduation ceremony today.

It was important for them to reach this milestone together because of all they've shared.

"It would be a lot harder," Josh began, "if I'd been by myself," Ryan finished.

They also received support from their friends, most of whom spend their free time hanging out at the brothers' Mountain Street home. Although it has, on occasion, driven Debra crazy to have 12 to 15 teenage boys in her house nearly every day, she's happy her house is the gathering place.

"These are a good bunch of kids," she said. "Skateboarding, wonderful kids. I always know where my children are. I wouldn't have them anywhere else."

Both boys plan to work after graduation and attend classes at Western Nevada College. Josh wants to be an emergency medical technician, and Ryan plans to become a machinist or underwater welder.

Their mother is confident they will achieve their goals, pointing to the obstacles they've already overcome.

"These boys pulled through it all, and now they're graduating," Debra said. "I'm proud of both of them. They're my babies."