Unique and one of a kind

It’s so rare to find something unique in the world, something truly one of a kind. It’s even more rare to find anything unique or even original in this column … and we’re not going to start today!

I overheard some kids talking the other day and was shocked when one of them referred to “I don’t want to miss a thing” as a Mark Chesnutt song. I confess I didn’t know who Mark Chesnutt is (turns out he’s a country music singer), but I know that’s an Aerosmith song, and I’m sure those kids think its something new.

I started wondering how many things are unique events or actual one of a kind items. So many things are new variations on old ideas or themes; this column certain is. As luck would have it, I was able to find a list of thing that only happened once or are truly unique … and some of them are almost interesting.

Did you that Elvis Presley only made one TV commercial? He made a commercial for “Southern Maid Doughnuts” in 1954 and that was it — not even any voice-overs like George Clooney or Matt Damon. Clooney and Damon may have been selected “The sexiest man alive” but Elvis was “The King” … he didn’t need the money.

Antarctica is the only continent with no reptiles or snakes. Antarctica is also the only continent with no government. Coincidence? I think not!

Hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards. I said some of them were interesting … almost.

Midnight Cowboy is the only X-rated movie to win the Oscar for Best Picture. Come on, X-rated movies are more interesting than hummingbirds. It’s kind of interesting that the same movie is considered a mild R-rating today.

Every state in the union is unique in its own way, but there is only one whose name has only one syllable and there is only one letter in the alphabet that doesn’t appear in any state’s name. I’ll give you a hint; it’s not West Virginia, which eliminates one state and a whole butt load of letters. We’ll come back to this one later.

Some moron at Baskin Robins came up with the bright idea to make ketchup flavored ice cream. It didn’t last long and, mercifully, it was the only vegetable flavored ice cream ever commercial produced. Before you start telling me that tomatoes are fruit just shut up … ketchup ice cream is an abomination.

Some things are so unique they will almost certainly never happen again. During a game against the California Angels in September of 1990, Ken Griffey Sr. and his little boy Kenny became the first and only father and son to hit back-to-back home runs in a major league baseball game. Since the Angels are now known as the Los Angeles Angels there is no chance that can happen again.

Franklin Roosevelt was the only president to be elected to four terms, Gerald Ford was the only president never elected to either the presidency or vice presidency. Which one would you have trusted with your PIN number?

There’s only one city in the United States simply named “Beach.” Beach isn’t in California, Florida or even Hawaii where you might expect to find … well, a beach. The city of Beach is in North Dakota and I’ll bet you can get a great deal on a vacation package there.

Uranus is the only planet that rotates on its side; that’s unique, interesting and kind of funny because how else would Uranus rotate?

Honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil. When archaeologists found honey in the tomb of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh, for reasons that evade me, they decided to taste it and it reportedly tasted like … um … honey. Years from now when archaeologists find McDonalds fries under the seat of the rusted remains of my truck they will look like fries but they won’t be edible; that’s why honey is unique.

I guess universe is full of unique things and one of a kind events after all, this column not withstanding, maybe it’s not so rare.

Oh, the letter Q doesn’t appear in any state name and Maine is the only single syllable state name. Did you get those right?

Rick Seley is an award-winning humor columnist. He may be reached at news@lahontanvalleynews.com.