I remember the Tooth Fairy with fondness. Finding a quarter, yes a quarter! Finding a quarter under my pillow in the morning. After waiting what felt like 172 days for a front tooth to finally give up its place in my tiny 5-year-old mouth. But. HAHA Yes a fairy “but.”
But only after becoming looser and looser moving back and
forth then side to side then around and around until finally, with sweat upon
my brow, that tooth did succumb and fall gently into my hand. You’re rubbing
your tongue on your front tooth aren’t you?
Once I even got to be the tooth fairy for one of my nieces.
It worked out she lost a tooth while I was visiting and the local Tooth Fairy
was going to leave a dollar. Pishaw I said and I dug in my purse and came up
with like $5.72 in spare change and that is what the Tooth Fairy left that
night. Oh I’ve fairy danced off the path… Not in need of a tooth fairy any
longer, now what I really need is a Rain Gutter Fairy.
Here’s the story, drip by stinking drip. I like rain
gutters. All year long they are like water masters waiting for the first drop.
Just let it rain. You’ll see them lay down and take it. Catching water falling
from the sky onto roofs, gathering each drop and herding them down stream where
they are eventually cast out upon grass or into barrels (best water to wash your
hair with you will ever use).
Putting all matter of rain that might come down upon your
head as you step out the door during rain storms. In winter of course they
might get a little clogged with snow and ice. But just let that ice melt the
least bit and rain gutters keep those drips of water that refreeze becoming ice
spears of doom aimed at your head at bay, thus saving countless lives each
year. Hurray rain gutters everywhere. Yes, I know it’s a stretch, but it makes
my point right? In short. I like rain gutters.
Unfortunately I lost the war on having rain gutters all
along my home front and back. I did get one section over the back door and I
was happy with that. Until the leaks began. I have no more than three 10-foot
sections of rain gutter up and out of those 360 inches wonderful rain catching
gutter 352 inches are well liked and appreciated by me. Then there’s eight tiny
inches of madness. Two places of four inches each, where two sections of that
gutter are married by very unhappy unions. See three sections only have two
unions so lucky me, I have been graced with leaks at both. Wahoo.
Do you know what happens when it rains and your rain gutter
leaks? I should just admit that maybe it’s payback from the rain gutter fairy
for me insisting on any gutter at all so long ago. Oh I have cleaned the gutter
to a spit shine. Then when the leaking started the first thing I did was tape
the gutter with heavy duty tuti fruity super tape and when that failed I
sprayed some goopy super dooper sealer guaranteed to stop any leaks even under
water or pressure spray that the guy with slicked back hair, a plaid suit, gold
front tooth and white patent leather shoes with silver buckles, said would have
saved the Titanic had they had this good stuff on board.
And do you know what I do when it rains? Yep I put two
buckets under those unions because when it’s cold and the leaks leak the water
drips and freezes and that makes these wonderful stalagmite of mounds of ice to
slippity slide up and over. Such fun.
I have learned after a few years of emptying five-gallon
buckets of frozen water to cut the bottoms out of the buckets. So now get this.
Now the water that escapes the rain gutter through the “sealed” unions that
leak and then drips down onto my deck lands in these bottomless buckets and
just goes right on through the boards on the deck on to the ground under the
I have no idea what happens to the water from that point.
Nor do I ever want to know… Yes, you can’t detour a woman on a mission.
Still. I would happily hold the ladder for the Rain Gutter
Fairy. I mean come on, I can’t be the ladder holder and the fairy both at the
same time. Be safe out there among the drips and fairies.
Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Find her on Facebook, Instagram or at email@example.com.