I got a phone call from a long time friend. As soon as I saw her name pop up on my teeny tiny blue phone screen I was propelled back to when we were in grade school. Playing in the 5th grade on the school play ground talking about Dennis, the boy she had a crush on and John the one I kinda liked.
As I answered the phone all the time that had come and gone by since the last time we talked melted away. It was such fun to talk and talk. For three hours we talked. If it hadn’t been time for her to go make dinner for her family we might have talked for three more hours. In all those minutes there was never a lag time. Never a ho-hum time of trying to come up with what to say next. I am very lucky to have her as a friend and I know that.
The world goes spinning around the sun and missed opportunities fly away. Now it’s not like we should put everything important aside and pick up the phone. No we need to be grown-up and meet obligations. But! Yes an obligatory “but.” How about making one of those life obligations to grab a little down time from the zippity zoom of regular life?
I am just as guilty as the next guy of not slowing down and grabbing a bit of down time. And I’m supposedly retired for goodness sakes. If I can’t find time to grab some down time what chance does someone working at full speed ahead in their 20s or 40s have to get to talk on the phone for hours with a friend just because it feels good and releases a mountain of feel good hormones? Chances seem to be pretty slim.
Friends come in all different flavors of life as do the conversations you have with them. With me laughter is the glue that holds conversations together. Of course important serious talking will need to be addressed. You know when you just have to talk about needing a tooth pulled or a tree trimmed or a decision about having a Hostess Cupcake or a Twinkie. Oh and I have taken a poll on that one and the overwhelming decision was, “BOTH!”
Oh yes discussing all that life altering stuff. HAHA. For the most part my conversations are about life and how fun life can be.
My friends are as varied as the clouds in the sky. Even though things in their lives change as much as the visions you see in the clouds as you lay on a fresh mowed lawn in the summer, the people they are, are steadfast in who they are. One friend is breathless when she tells stuff. I enjoy listening to her and even though sometimes I need to tell her to stop and breathe I could listen to the stories of her life from sundown to sun up.
I have no idea what my friends think of me as a friend. It probably depends on the friend and the relationship I have with them. One looks to me as good medicine for her. She is a feel good friend and I think of her in the same way. You know when you feel kind of off kilter, a bit out of sorts. I can call or text and just poke at her and she pokes back and all will come back into line and life will be good. There is always laughter though with my friends.
It is my self protective armor. Over time some have tried to get me to be serious for more than a minute or two. To no avail. Life is too short to be too serious. I am working on a new book about my journey into widowhood and try as I might to be serious each story comes out with a lilt of humor. At first I thought that was a bad thing, kind of irreverent. Then I realized that it is just my way. Oh and you will get a kick out of the working title. “My After Death Life.” Does that not sound just like me?
No matter who your friends are, no matter who you are to your friends, know that it is because you are you that they will stick to you and enjoy your company. Just be you and let them be who they are. And for good measure? Call one and talk till it’s time to make dinner.
Trina lives in Eureka. Her new book “They Call Me Weener” is available on Amazon.com or email her at email@example.com to find out how to get a signed copy.