Faith & Insight: Father of the bride teaches value of stranding oneself

Now, I can finally appreciate what George Banks and millions of other fathers have felt since the beginning of time.

Played by Steve Martin in the 1991 iteration of the film “Father of the Bride,” George Banks, owner of a successful athletic shoe company, becomes neurotically consumed by the implications and details around the betrothal of his beloved daughter, Annie. How it all unfolds should be left to a family-friendly movie night for those who have not seen this classic comedy. What I can reveal, on a more personal level, is that I am about to be a father of the bride later this month, and I can validate some of George Banks’ feelings, irrational as they seem.

And while I’ve wisely left the planning (and hopefully most of the neurotic behavior) to my amazing wife, it is critical during all the preparations for us to never forget that our chief cornerstone, Jesus Christ, serves not only as the foundation for a union between a man and a wife but also, and more broadly, as a picture of Christ and his church.

Through the Old Testament prophets, God reveals his desire for union with humanity – a relationship so intimate that he describes it as spousal love: God is the bridegroom and Israel is the bride.

In the New Testament in the Parable of the Wedding Feast, Jesus said, “The Kingdom of Heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding feast…” (Matthew 22:2-3)

Here, Jesus is telling the chief priest and Pharisees who were assembled that God invites us into a personal relationship through his son, our savior, Jesus Christ.

“... but they would not come. Again, he sent other servants saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, see, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding feast. But they paid no attention and went off.” (Matthew 22:3-4)

The response by the king in the Parable of the Wedding Feast was both a vengeful one, toward the original guests – that represented Israel’s reaction to the prophets, and an inclusive one to the Gentiles to then join the feast.

Though God earnestly invites all to a relationship with his son through the power of the Holy Spirit that calls us into faith, some refuse his invitation. Though we in no way deserve mercy, the Gospel earnestly invites all to come and join the Lord in his eternal heavenly banquet. (Lutheran Study Bible, ESV, 2009, p.1630)

I’m glad I’m not part of a royal bloodline, though my dad used to always require cool water in his coffee so as to not burn his “royal lips,” which prompted inviting the greater Carson City/ Valley area to my daughter’s wedding. No offense, but my heart simply couldn’t take the bill. However, I am overjoyed for my daughter and future son-in-law that our Risen King, Jesus Christ, wants nothing more than to be at the center of their relationship.

In life, two or three people working in concert can enjoy a greater reward than one alone. Martin Luther illustrated this in the allegory of the two sons of a wise father who called for them before he was about to die. There he presented them a bundle of sticks to break.

And while they could not break them all at once, simultaneously, they did succeed in breaking them individually, together. This taught the sons that their riches would be secure if they worked together in harmony.

King Solomon in Chapter 1 of the Book of Ecclesiastes wrote of “chasing the wind” only to find that nothing new exists under the sun, and nothing of worth is apart from God and can succeed without him. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Like with the two sons before the dying father, the staying power of a union, be it with newlyweds, old married couples, and all other types of relationships is dependent on attaching themselves to the almighty third strand, Jesus Christ, the Alpha and the Omega.

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ so they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:5-6)

Brian Underwood is retired executive director at Sierra Lutheran High School, adjunct faculty member SLHS and WNC.